maybe because i am a Gemini, ideas come to my mind so fast and never last for long...
mybe that's why my life have never been stoped changing and i thing that'a a big reason i can not achieve something big.
i have never put myself at a solid condition, i have not been focused myself on a long term job
i have changed many many companies after i quited my first job.
i think if i can focuse on sth for long then my life will be totally different...
i would not suffer so much, i would still working like a dog and cow in that f***ing 100 world bigest state company
i would still be a bad employee(i mean who always have different ideas and sometime dont want to listen to my boss if my boss's ideas were not as "good "as mine)
i always told myself i have to change myself not only my temper but also my Black or White mind.
however, it is not easy. maybe it has been deeply fostered in my mind since the first day i received the treatment from my strick mom. my mom tried to correct everything i have done. this is not good that is not good, you could not do that you could not do this. i could not eatting while i was walking. i could not wave my hands while i was walking because if in her little mind, if i acted like that i was not a good girl...i could not talk or cry even at the time she yellded at me...i have to listed to her and do whatever she said it was right so...
i remember that i even tried to fight her when i stood near the well, i tried to push her away when she balabala... i didnt know why i was so brave at that time, i tried to beat her by my hat and i fighted back... what i have done shoot? her... she didnt alowed me to go to university for higher education, but i fighted for it and then i got the chances...she was not allowed me to do this do that......................
i can not pass it when i am thingking about my weakness, flaw, or shortpoint...
i always excuse that at my mom's bad parent treatment on me.
i hate it and i though i could not pass it by myself...
how can i get rid of it?
do i need to visit a psychology? 
